You are the sunrise of my soul.
When you came to me I was feeling so alone,
But you touched me, deep inside,
And through everything our love has grown.
Your bright smile warms me
like sunshine on a cloudy day.
Your soft skin flows like silk beneath my hands,
and your sweet scent, like a summer breeze,
gently kisses me whenever your are near.
I feel your presence inside my heart
Like no one else before you.
I know that you are part of me
for when our spirits stray from one another
a void as vast as the ocean envelops me...
and I long for you.
You know the secrets of my soul,
The darkness and the light,
And work your magic with your love,
When I seem to lose my sight.
I never want to be without you,
lest hope and love be lost,
Hand in hand, I'll walk beside you
No matter what the cost.
You are the love I've waited for
So beautiful and magical...
everything feels so right.
You feed the fire inside of me
You give me the strength to fight.
I cannot believe you cannot see how beautiful you are,
How amazing and wonderful, intelligent, shining like the brightest star...
You are the sunrise of my soul, and I could ask for nothing more.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Long time, no see....
Well, it's been a while since I've posted. Mostly, because I don't really like the way my blog looks and I really don't have time to learn how to make it better.
Anyway, wow, since 2006. So much has happened. Short version.
My daugher, Savannah, came to live with me full time in February of 2008. Her relationship with her father is NOT good and I don't know if it ever will be. He can't seem to understand how and why he hurts her.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April of 2008; had a double mastectomy in May of 2008; for all practical purposes I am presumed cured. It was stage 0 and no lymph node involvement. 2008 was a horrible year, yet ended okay. I'm greatly relieved and feel very blessed that my cancer was caught early. Moving on.
I started back to school in August of 2008, hopefully working towards a career change. (My sister and her husband are paying my tuition and books. She really wants me to have a better job and wants to help me make my life better. I am forever grateful to them both for all their help.) However, with the downturn in the economy it may not be as soon as I'd hoped. I have one more class to take after the one I'm taking now (Environmental Science) and then I'll be ready to job seek. I working towards Environmental Health Specialist.
My partner and I are doing well. Her love and support through everything has been and is wonderful. We have our differences, but I know that she loves me, and my kids, and I cannot imagine life without her. We dream of someday have one house that we both love and that can accommodate our needs for our families. We still have very little money and again, the economy isn't helping. I am at home today, without pay, because the company I work for is experiencing a blight of work. I can only pray that the workload picks up soon... very, very soon.
In January, Susana had a very serious kidney infection. We caught it in the nick of time. I think she was on the verge of septicemia. We spent New Year's Day at the urgent care, where she received intravenous antibiotics and was sent home with a prescription for Levaquin and orders to stay home from work the rest of the week. Stubborn as she is, she went to work on Monday, and Tuesday the following week but was still too weak and had a small relapse. Subsequently she was ordered to stay home the rest of that week also. She did, and recovered nicely. She really had me scared for bit there.
Savannah had a minor car accident on January 5th. No injuries and only her truck was crunched. My brother-in-law, Scott, and my dad managed to repair the truck with very little cost. We were so grateful. Now I just have to wait and see if the car insurance goes up or not. If it does, a second job may have to come into the picture -- if there are any to be found! Insurance is sooooo ridiculous. I've been paying car insurance premiums for 31 years and never made a claim, yet still no break on the insurance. Doesn't seem fair does it? Insurance is a big racket anyway. WE all know that, but yet we must have it.
Dallas is doing great. He still goes every other week to his Dad's house. I think he would like to live with us full time but I think he feels sorry for his father. He has a lot of anger towards him, though. Sometimes that scares me. Susana and I make sure he knows he can talk to us and that he can live with us if that is what he wants. Sometimes just knowing there is a safe haven to go to is enough.
His dad still won't get him a cell phone. All because Savannah wrote Henry (dad) a note saying that all she wanted for Christmas was for Henry to pay the dental bill and get Dallas a cell phone. Oh, and Dallas was supposed to get a cell phone from his father for his 14th birthday... he never got it. Anyway, I was planning to put him on my cell phone plan until this work situation occurred. He may have to wait a bit. Maybe it doesn't seem like necessity but with Dallas at two different houses, and various people picking him up at school... sometimes we forget and so it would be safer if he had a phone to call someone. It makes me feel bad that I can't give him one now. I'll have to keep working on it.
I wish Henry would just understand that I'm not trying to get anything out of him... I just need help taking care of our kids. He is so vindictive towards me and Susana. I suppose it's because we're gay. He once told me that he had nothing to say to her even though she never did anything to him. People like us are from the devil. His close-mindedness has cost him one child and may cost him the other. I do feel sorry for him... and angry at the same time. I've tried to make him understand, but he won't listen to me. Dallas has also tried -- he won't listen to him either. I don't know what else to try.
Time passes swiftly, and what is lost cannot be regained. I hope he learns this soon.
Anyway, wow, since 2006. So much has happened. Short version.
My daugher, Savannah, came to live with me full time in February of 2008. Her relationship with her father is NOT good and I don't know if it ever will be. He can't seem to understand how and why he hurts her.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April of 2008; had a double mastectomy in May of 2008; for all practical purposes I am presumed cured. It was stage 0 and no lymph node involvement. 2008 was a horrible year, yet ended okay. I'm greatly relieved and feel very blessed that my cancer was caught early. Moving on.
I started back to school in August of 2008, hopefully working towards a career change. (My sister and her husband are paying my tuition and books. She really wants me to have a better job and wants to help me make my life better. I am forever grateful to them both for all their help.) However, with the downturn in the economy it may not be as soon as I'd hoped. I have one more class to take after the one I'm taking now (Environmental Science) and then I'll be ready to job seek. I working towards Environmental Health Specialist.
My partner and I are doing well. Her love and support through everything has been and is wonderful. We have our differences, but I know that she loves me, and my kids, and I cannot imagine life without her. We dream of someday have one house that we both love and that can accommodate our needs for our families. We still have very little money and again, the economy isn't helping. I am at home today, without pay, because the company I work for is experiencing a blight of work. I can only pray that the workload picks up soon... very, very soon.
In January, Susana had a very serious kidney infection. We caught it in the nick of time. I think she was on the verge of septicemia. We spent New Year's Day at the urgent care, where she received intravenous antibiotics and was sent home with a prescription for Levaquin and orders to stay home from work the rest of the week. Stubborn as she is, she went to work on Monday, and Tuesday the following week but was still too weak and had a small relapse. Subsequently she was ordered to stay home the rest of that week also. She did, and recovered nicely. She really had me scared for bit there.
Savannah had a minor car accident on January 5th. No injuries and only her truck was crunched. My brother-in-law, Scott, and my dad managed to repair the truck with very little cost. We were so grateful. Now I just have to wait and see if the car insurance goes up or not. If it does, a second job may have to come into the picture -- if there are any to be found! Insurance is sooooo ridiculous. I've been paying car insurance premiums for 31 years and never made a claim, yet still no break on the insurance. Doesn't seem fair does it? Insurance is a big racket anyway. WE all know that, but yet we must have it.
Dallas is doing great. He still goes every other week to his Dad's house. I think he would like to live with us full time but I think he feels sorry for his father. He has a lot of anger towards him, though. Sometimes that scares me. Susana and I make sure he knows he can talk to us and that he can live with us if that is what he wants. Sometimes just knowing there is a safe haven to go to is enough.
His dad still won't get him a cell phone. All because Savannah wrote Henry (dad) a note saying that all she wanted for Christmas was for Henry to pay the dental bill and get Dallas a cell phone. Oh, and Dallas was supposed to get a cell phone from his father for his 14th birthday... he never got it. Anyway, I was planning to put him on my cell phone plan until this work situation occurred. He may have to wait a bit. Maybe it doesn't seem like necessity but with Dallas at two different houses, and various people picking him up at school... sometimes we forget and so it would be safer if he had a phone to call someone. It makes me feel bad that I can't give him one now. I'll have to keep working on it.
I wish Henry would just understand that I'm not trying to get anything out of him... I just need help taking care of our kids. He is so vindictive towards me and Susana. I suppose it's because we're gay. He once told me that he had nothing to say to her even though she never did anything to him. People like us are from the devil. His close-mindedness has cost him one child and may cost him the other. I do feel sorry for him... and angry at the same time. I've tried to make him understand, but he won't listen to me. Dallas has also tried -- he won't listen to him either. I don't know what else to try.
Time passes swiftly, and what is lost cannot be regained. I hope he learns this soon.
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