This is the beginning -- of the blog, not living lesbian. That began almost four years ago. I was married for 12 years, and for the first four I had no idea that I was a lesbian. After many years of fantasizing about women, and having crushes on women -- although I didn't recognize them as such at the time -- it finally dawned on me "Hey, maybe I'm gay." What a terrifying realization! That first "dawning" came when I was 33. I spent seven years trying very hard to "cure" myself, denying nature and making myself miserable. I begged God to change me and when that didn't help, I finally accepted that God MADE me this way, and probably intended me to be this way. So I guess it's ok with Him, but most of the rest of the Christians seem to think I'm condemned to Hell.
The "rest of the Christians." That pretty much sums up the problems with being gay. This blog is about the struggle of living lesbian. It's also about the joy of accepting who you are, and allowing yourself to feel right. If you come back to visit, perhaps you'll see that while living lesbian is harder than living heterosexual, it's basically the same.
